Home School Curriculum Experts

I’m tired. I’m often that way, but tonight I am tired in every way. This week I have cleaned someone’s house; worked at and shopped a consignment sale (and consigned); had two practices for a play I am in; hosted a baby shower and made the cake and all the food; taught two co-op classes and graded papers for 16 kids; made five Halloween costumes and carved a pumpkin; took food to a cookout; made Brownies for my son’s class; patched, sanded, and cleaned walls in my stairwell (and painted trim); hung pictures in my bedroom; planned for and attended a movie party for our co-op middle school kids; hunted all over town for ribbon for a bow order; and of course homeschooled four of my kids, cleaned, cooked, and got groceries (all while nursing four sick kids back to health and getting sick myself). I am not saying this to brag…far from it. I actually had to get this down in writing to realize how insane I have made my life. If you read my previous blog, I talked about what a Martha I am, and how I sensed Jesus holding out deliverance to me. Is it any wonder why? I have a serious problem with over-commitment (which may come as a shock to you) :) I have struggled with this all of my adult life, but it has only gotten worse with more kids and thus more opportunities to over-commit. And now it has begun to take a toll on my health and relationships (okay, this toll did not just start happening). So, I have whined over two blogs about this…what to do?
I attended a conference recently, and the speaker was talking about how to preserve your family – relationships, sanity, moral base, etc. One of the things he talked about was making hard priority decisions, for the entire family. It’s not so hard cutting out things that are plainly harmful or bad. It’s when we come to a bucket of really good, beneficial, desirable things that we have a hard time deciding what to let go of, to miss the benefits of, to deny ourselves. It is those things that have nothing bad to recommend them except that “we can’t do everything” …those are the things that are the hardest to let go of. But at what cost? How many times do you catch yourself screaming at your kids or husband; having that overwhelmed feeling, passing one set of kids and your spouse on the way in the door as you are heading out the door with another set; staying up past all reasonable hours to get everything done, only to find yourself getting up the next morning to start it all over again? Am I the only one who does this? I regret the inordinate time spent “doing” instead of just “being.” In our Bible study this morning, we talked about being still before God. One of the verses we studied was from Psalm 46:10, and it begins “Be still and know that I am God…” One person’s translation especially spoke to me; it said, “Cease striving….” When I googled this verse, I learned that the Hebrew word for “still” means to let go or release. So as God is speaking to me (and He obviously is…I can’t stop blogging about it!) what things is He telling me to cut out? Frankly, He’s asking me to release all of it. Does that mean I am supposed to stop doing all of it? Maybe…maybe not (although I am pretty sure He wants me to stop doing a lot of it.). But I have to release all of it to Him. And then what? I have to know that He is God. How do I know this? I can start with reflecting on what God can do in the face of what I am unable to do. By realizing that he is infinite and I am finite. By remembering that He has said, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” and taking comfort in this. By laying back in the arms of my Abba Father and just resting.